Do I Even Dare?

So I've been running since October. I gave up drinking Pepsi at home at the end of December. I stopped eating out so much in January. I gave up pop completely for Lent (starting today!) I started doing crunches and girly pushups after I run. And I may finally, finally be seeing some results.

The scale has been going down in the last few weeks, and I when I first started seeing the numbers fall, I thought it was a fluke. I've found if I weigh myself in the morning, while naked, right after I run, I weigh a lot less that I do at other times! So of course those weights don't count. But I've weighed myself at other times and the numbers are still lower.

Back at the beginning of December my husband started a spreadsheet he called the "Fattie Tracker". Nice, huh? I was weighing in at about 140 back then. Shocking! I have actually weighed that much for a while and never thought I would see the numbers drop. Usually I can manage to hover at 137 or 138, but that's it. But by mid-January I was seeing 136 all the time. Then came the beginning of February-my first 135. I was making progress.

So now, if you can believe it, I have seen a few 133s sprinkled in with the more usual 134.4 (which seems to be my magic number now!) I cannot even believe that and I feel I'm jinxing myself by typing it. I hope that I will keep dropping the weight. Sadly I STILL do not feel like I can see any difference. I feel as flabby and jiggly as ever. I think I am doomed to have muffin top forever. Sigh.

But I got my first compliment today-one of the Moms at Laura's school (who knows I've been running) said I was looking skinny. I think she is deluded since she is pregnant and I guess most women look skinny when you're pregnant (that's how I felt at least!) but still, it was a good ego boost. I just don't want to horrify her when the warm weather comes and all my sweaters are gone and she realizes, nope, she's not skinny at all!

And I just don't have the frame to really ever be classified as skinny anyway. Back when I was 18, yes. I was totally skinny. But not anymore. I have skinny arms so I think that is what tricks people. The rest of me is more solid than I would like, but I suppose I should stop blabbering and just say that I'm happy I'm dropping some pounds, but don't expect me to be all tiny the next time any of you see me. Because I look exactly the same.